The Day Arrived

We've all had those days... you are getting ready for work, you get a glimpse at your half-naked body in the mirror and wonder, WHO IS THAT WOMAN? If fact, you're downright shocked and horrified... she looks nothing like the woman in your dreams or the one you see in the mirror most of the time ...unless, of course, you stop and take a second look.

For me, it's not just about shopping for clothes ... or hoping to remarry someday....(actually, no matter how thin I get I will still seek out that man who loves me for me, not my dress size... but that's a story for another day.

Today, I am going to speak about the day the thin person inside me kicked me in the gut. I remember it well, and hope the bruise sticks around for awhile.

I was getting my hair colored... glanced in the mirror at my plump face and wondered how those pounds I lost a year ago returned... without me noticing until one day NOTHING fit but my former fat clothes that were still in a box in the garage.

I am a stress eater... and I've had a stressful year.... my dad has had a year of major health struggles... I stop there every night and eat a few chocolates... popcorn... etc.   During the day when I think about his condition, I treat myself to a large cookies, to ease the pain.  When he's in the hospital, my mother and I get McChicken Sandwiches ... hot, spicy and only $1.... and 440 calories.

Another client was standing close to me talking about her recent weight loss and not being hungry... and eating real food.... with the weight just falling off.... no hunger... easy. Then she mentioned the COST.... First visit, $295. Each additional week, $80.  And you eat real food, weigh in weekly...pay your money and get your shots.

I gulped at the price.... she is getting divorced and has 5 kids... and said... "I can't think about the cost, when he asked me for a divorce, I called the next day."

And I snuggled down in the beauty shop chair and thought.... "I want to grow old to be there for my sons, I can't think about the price".  She gave me a business card to call and I did so that evening.

The next morning the weight loss clinic called to say they got my message.... they could see me on Thursday...Woo Hoo.

I made that appointment last Wednesday. Today is Sunday and Thursday seems like a lifetime away... the receptionist told me to fast before I come but drink plenty of water.... she also told me to eat normally this week, unrestricted, not to diet so I would go into ketosis easier once I start the process.

And so I wait....and anticipate the process.  I am eating things... like pizza and an ice cream cone today... thinking ... enjoy it because it will be months before I have those treats again and I'm OK with that.

I have a couple tubs of clothes I bought last summer that I can't get into ............... but hopefully within a month, I will.

I am ready... which is the biggest part of changing your lifestyle... you have to be ready.

I  am

I am

I am not thinking about the cost.... I'd gladly pay that to spend additional healthy years with my sons.They are my motivation.